Praise the Lord!

We’ve been enduring a stomach bug here for the last couple of weeks. Matthew got sick first and got over the bug, but “things” still hadn’t returned to normal, if you know what I mean. He’s been miserable. Last night I felt an urgency to pray for healing for him. My prayer was “Abba, Father! You are able to do all things. Please touch Matthew’s body and heal him.” At bedtime, Matthew said, “I feel like God has taken a burden off of me.” And God really did. He is better! Thank You, Father!

Girls

Sarah has Matthew’s guitar. She’s strumming it and singing, “You’d better seek the Lord, you’d better seek the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul!”  I love it!

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Last night the boys were saying, “I’m sweating like a pig (they didn’t hear that from me). Laura joined in, “I’m sweating on a pig!” We all laughed so hard but she didn’t know what was so funny. She thought she’d said it right.

Desire for Children during Infertility and Miscarriage

The Lord has given us 4 children and we have had 12 miscarriages since our fourth was born. The Lord has used the children, including the ones lost (but I believe they are with Him) in my life in amazing ways, and I would not trade any of them or the circumstances for anything.  I would love to have more children.  They are a gift, a blessing, a joy!  A lot of work, yes, but it is worth it!

I have gone the natural route of trying to find out why I am having recurrent miscarriages, and I think I have an idea; but even though I am doing everything I can do, within reason, to be healthy, I continue to miscarry.   A healthy diet and lifestyle can help, but ultimately God is in control.  The Lord has humbled me through this, and shown me that, though it is important to be a good steward of my body, and I should love my potential children by taking care of myself, I do not control by these efforts my ability to carry children to term.

God is not an idealist. He doesn’t have an ideal number of children, or ideal situations, lined up for us. He has the exact number of children and the exact circumstances prepared for us so that we will grow in His love and grace and we will glorify Him. Ideal situations do not tend to produce people who glorify the Lord or love the Lord fervently or recognize how much they NEED Him. The wilderness times give us opportunities to discover how wonderful our Savior is. We most glorify the Lord when we passionately love Him.  And this draws others to Him as well.

When I was newly pregnant with my fourth child, a complete stranger walked up to our family in the store, and said, “You have boys and a girl; there aren’t any other kinds so you don’t need any more.”   I was inwardly grieved by what he said.  Having children is not about EXPERIENCING a boy and a girl and putting a notch in our belts and fulfilling some selfish dream; it is not about “putting in our time” as a parent and then moving on to better things. As believers, we should receive children as a blessing and it is right to desire children, while not making them an idol–but more than anything we have children to glorify God.

I think that if we desire children as a blessing from the Lord, and the Lord withholds children even though we pray for children, we can trust that He has a purpose that will glorify Him more than us having children or more children at that time. This is different than being selfish and not wanting children because we have our lives to lead and children just get in the way.

We can desire the blessing while wanting God to be glorified MORE than we want to be blessed and we can be content with whatever the Lord wants to do through our either having children or not having children. The Bible calls women to be mothers, and so we ought to pursue that. But we need to pursue the Lord more. If we are going after Him with all our hearts, we will find Him in every circumstance, and we will be able to receive children or no children as a gift from Him. Either way, we are blessed.

Refined in the Fire to Lead us to Prayer and Fellowship with Jesus

Zechariah 13:8-9

8 In the whole land, declares the Lord,
two thirds shall be cut off and perish,
and one third shall be left alive.
9 And I will put this third into the fire,
and refine them as one refines silver,
and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

1 Peter 4:12-14

12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory [1] and of God rests upon you.

1 Peter 5:6-11

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Revelation 3:14-22

14 “And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation.

15 “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. 19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. 21 The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’”

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I am re-posting this message by John Piper on prayer that I put in my post yesterday.  It is so good.

This is He Who Baptizes With the Holy Spirit

This is He Who Baptizes With the Holy Spirit

by John Piper, from John 1:25-34.

This is a great message!!

The Wilderness is the Good Place

In my heart burns the cry, “Prepare ye the way of the Lord.”  I stand in the wilderness and call out to you, “Come out to the wilderness with me.  Taste and see that the Lord is good.”

The wilderness is the good place.  Jesus is there, outside the camp.  If we would follow Him then we must go out to Him in the wilderness and bear His reproach with Him (He suffered for us outside the camp).

What your wilderness will look like I do not know, but I can tell you that it is good; though at first you may not think so.  There are so many voices calling to us, vying for our attention.  Endless amusements and distractions drown out His precious voice, and so He leads us to the wilderness where all we have left is Him and we find He is all we  want and need.  He draws us with His cords of love to the quiet place so we can hear His tender, life giving words.  He is the only treasure that will last.  He is the giver of the only thing which satisfies forever: Himself.  He wants to pour out His love on us and He will do whatever it takes to make us want His love more than we want anything else.

“A voice says, ‘Cry.”  And I said, ‘What shall I cry?’ “All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flowers of the field.  The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.  Get you up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good news; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good news; lift it up, fear not, say the cities of Judah, ‘Behold your God!  Behold, the Lord God comes with might, and His arm rules for Him; behold, His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him.”  Isaiah 40

I have only just begun to know the Lord.  I have only begun to taste and see His goodness.  But what I know makes me want to go up on the rooftops, and shout out for all to hear, “God is GOOD!!!”  Only I could not shout it loudly enough.  There are no words to describe the little I know of God.  You must taste His goodness for yourself.

Sometimes our circumstances produce a wilderness in our lives, and at other times we simply hear the invitation to come out to the Lord, to withdraw from the things that distract us, with the intention of seeking Him diligently.  If you sense Him calling you, do not hold back, do not be afraid.  Go; run with abandonment and full surrender to the the will of the Lord.  Let go of the things that weigh you down.  You don’t need them.  You need Him.

These two quotes describe so well what God has been working in my heart in the wilderness:

“I have sometimes heard of spells and charms to excite love and have wished for them, as a boy, that I might cause others to love me.  But how much more do I now wish for some charm which would lead men to love the Saviour.  Could I paint a true likeness of Him methinks I should rejoice to hold it up to the view and admiration of all creation, and be hid behind it forever.  It would be heaven enough to hear Him praised and adored.  But I cannot paint Him, I cannot describe Him, I cannot make others love Him.  Nay I cannot love Him a thousandth part so much as I ought myself.  O, for an angel’s tongue, O for the tongues of ten thousand angels to sound His praises.”  Edward Payson

“O what a blessed thing it is to lose one’s will.  Since I have lost my will I have found happiness.  There can be no such thing as disappointment to me, for I have no desires but that God’s will might be accomplished.  Christians might avoid much trouble if they would only believe what they profess, viz., that God is able to make them happy without anything but Himself.  They imagine that if such a dear friend were to die, or such and such a blessing removed, they should be miserable, whereas God can make them a thousand times happier without them.  To mention my own case, God has been depriving me of one blessing after another, but as every one was removed He has come in and filled up its place, and now, when I am a cripple and unable to move, I am happier than ever I was in my life before or expected to be, and if I had believed this twenty years ago I might have been spared much anxiety.”  Edward Payson

Put in the Fire for the Sake of Prayer is a good message by John Piper regarding suffering leading to fellowship with the Lord.

I Want To Meet You in the Everyday

I want to meet You in the every day
I want to find You in the most unlikely places
I want to see Your hand at work where I least expect it
Increase my faith by giving me eyes to see You as You really are.

You are able to do so much more than I give You credit for
You are at work everywhere and I love to see Your chisel marks
–Each one important to the beautiful hope chest You are making
You see the end and You are in the details.
Nothing escapes Your notice and I can trust You.

Open my eyes
I want to see what You see
Cause my heart to feel what You feel
Let me hear Your whispers

I want to meet You in the every day
I want to find You in the most unlikely places
I want to see Your hand at work where I least expect it
Increase my faith by giving me eyes to see You as You really are.

I Am Waiting Here for You

I hear You calling my name
Saying, “Be still and know.
Quiet your heart to hear My voice;
I am waiting to meet with you.

Slow down. The busyness can wait.
I want to reveal Myself to you;
Pour out My love in your heart;
Include you in the plans I have;
Share My secrets with you.

If you would only come:
Be still;
Listen;
Seek My face.

Draw near; I will draw near to you.
Be still; you will hear My voice.
Seek My face; you will find Me.
I am waiting here for you.”

I must die. . .

The other morning I was angry at my husband. I apologized to him and after he left for work I sang this to myself, trying to correct my thinking:

You must die
You must deny
You must say, “No” to yourself
You are not the center of it all

When I wrote this in my journal I added these thoughts:

There is only One in the center of it all
And He gave up His glory
He came to serve
He laid down His life
He said, “No” to Himself and “Yes” to His Father

He did not demand His own way
He never reviled in return for evil
He was like a lamb before the shearers
He was not caught up in claiming His rights as the Creator of the universe

We are called to follow in His steps so
We must die
We must deny
We must say, “No” to ourselves
Give ourselves for Jesus, the center of it all

I want to be like Jesus
And one day I will reign with Him in glory
But I must die
I must deny
I must say, “No” to myself
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“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Jim Elliot

A Delightful Duty

Calling prayer and Bible reading a discipline and duty is like calling intimacy between husband and wife a chore.  For a husband and wife who truly love each other, questions such as, “How much is enough?” are ridiculous.

Intimacy both satisfies and awakens desire.  The discipline is in keeping other things from becoming more important to us than our spouse–to keep the fire burning by making time to spend together.  And so it is in our relationship with God.

Time with the Lord is not a discipline.  It is not something we do simply because we are good Christians (how would you like it if your spouse told you they were only spending time with you because they were supposed to–it is my duty so here I am?).  We are invited to spend time with the Creator of the universe and the lover of our souls.  The thought overwhelms me.  This is not a duty!  It is an honor, a privilege, a delight!

How is it that we usually view this as an inconvenient interruption from more important things????  What are we thinking????

Spending time with the Lord satisfies our deepest longings and keeps us coming back for more.  The more time we spend, the more we grow to love our Savior.  It isn’t a matter of how much is enough, but rather how soon we can get back to sitting at His feet.

A Passion For Christ-Exalting Power

A Passion For Christ-Exalting Power by John Piper
This is a good article by John Piper on Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ view of the work of the Holy Spirit.  John Piper’s comments at the end are helpful also.

Knowing You, Jesus

This morning I  read Mark 5 during my quiet time.  I usually try to pray through the scripture I am reading but my heart and mind felt dull, asleep, unhearing and unseeing–I almost gave up the prayer idea after reading it once through.  But I waited and after a few minutes the Lord started speaking to me through the passage and I had much to pray about.

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Lord, I am here to meet with You.  But my mind is still asleep.  My heart is dull and I am not hearing or seeing a thing.  Maybe I should just go, and get on with my day.  This feels like a lot of work.  I don’t know if it is worth it.

Or maybe I’ll wait for just a minute or two.  Please speak to me.  Open the eyes of my heart and let me see You.  I want to know You more.

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I waited and now I find You are able to break through to the dullest mind in the driest moment.  When I wait here for You, with Your word before me, You come and make my eyes see and my ears hear.

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Now that I am going about the work of my day my spirit is alive with hearing and seeing.  Your Spirit is still speaking to me, and I will carry on this conversation with You the rest of the day–all because I waited, and You came to fellowship with me.

I can’t wait to meet with You again.  I love to hear Your voice and see Your face:

I love You, Lord.

You cast the demons out.  You give a sound mind.  You clothe us with peace when before we were out of our minds.

You have authority to command even the unclean things.  You are greater than legions of demons.  What have I to fear if I am Yours?

You healed the woman, when she reached out to touch Your robe.  Your power is greater than I know, and You love to reward faith–without faith it is impossible to please You.

You raised Jairus’ daughter.  You took her by the hand and spoke the healing words as a command.  You have authority over life and death.  You told her father: Do not fear–only believe.

My faith is small; much smaller than a mustard seed.  I believe.  Please help my unbelief.

I want to meet You in the every day–I want to find You in the most unlikely places–I want to see Your hand at work where I least expect it–increase my faith–give me eyes to see You for who You really are.

On the water, when You stopped the storm, You said, “Peace!  Be still!”  And the wind stopped blowing and there was a great calm.  Then You asked Your disciples, “Why are you so afraid?  Have you still no faith?”  Their hearts were filled with fear and they asked among themselves, “Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey Him?” They did not know who You were and so they had no faith.

Knowing You leads to an increasing faith, so I will come every chance I get to seek Your face.  Teach me Your ways.  Show me what You think and what You feel.  I want to know what You love and what You hate.  I want to know how exceedingly powerful You are.  I want to hear the words of love You speak to me when I draw near.  I want to see Your glory and goodness.

Give to me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the KNOWLEDGE of YOU.  Open the eyes of my heart and show me the hope you’ve called me to; show me the riches of Your inheritance in the saints (in me!); and show me the exceeding greatness of Your power toward those who believe.  I believe in what I know of You but there is more to know. . . .

Strengthen my spirit to understand what is the height, the depth, the width, the length of the love of Christ, which passes knowledge–I want to be filled with all the fullness of God.  I want to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus my Savior.  You are able to do exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond all I could ever ask or think–for Your glory forever.

I want to know You more.

God’s Grace

God’s grace doesn’t free us to be comfortable while we keep on sinning. His grace gives us confidence to pursue purity, knowing that it is attainable in His strength (because He became sin for us so we could become the righteousness of God) and that He loves us in the process. Thank You, Lord, for Your grace. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your power to overcome my flesh and the evil one.

(My paraphrase of a point in a sermon I listened to yesterday.)

Glory Revealed

My friend Kelley played this song at church on Sunday, and I couldn’t sing.  All I could do was weep and my spirit leaped within me and shouted to the Lord, “Lord, Come!!!” That the Lord’s glory be revealed in the earth is my heart’s cry and it grows stronger every day.  He is coming!!!  Taste and see that He is good!!!

Come to Jesus

When Adam sinned, God placed all mankind under a curse: work will be hard and you will die.  Adam and Eve were then driven from the garden so they would not eat of the tree of life and live forever in their fallen state–cursed eternally.  That was never God’s intention.

We humans have been looking for the tree of life ever since.  And who hasn’t been intrigued by the stories of the fountain of youth?  All of our efforts at progress have two goals: to prolong life, youthfulness and beauty and to make work easier.

Age and wisdom are no longer honored.  Being young is the goal of life and people spend millions of dollars a year on “beauty” treatments, many of which are toxic.  Most of the population takes medicines which supposedly prolong life but which are toxic to our bodies.  Taking good care of ourselves is not bad, but we have an obsession with avoiding death which actually makes us rush towards it.

Invention in itself is not evil.  We were created by God in His image, so we also create things and this can glorify God.  But we tend to take all the credit for ourselves, elevate man above God, and use our inventions to further our own selfish desires.  Often our inventions cause more death and disease even though they are designed to make life easier.

No matter how hard we try, we cannot throw off the curse.  Why is life so hard?

Some think that if we can make our suffering and hardship go away through modern technology, medicines, etc. then all of our sins will disappear too.  Many are looking for a utopia created by man: We have the answers within ourselves.  If we make circumstances equal for everyone we’ll have peace.  People do bad things because of their hardships. It sounds good on the surface, but these philosophies do not work because our sin comes from inside of us and there is nothing we can do to make it go away.  We got ourselves into this mess in the first place by thinking we didn’t really need God.

Why would God create us only to put us under a curse–a curse that leads to compounding curses if we try to escape it?  100 years ago men thought technology would be the answer to our problems.  Now we are drowning in the realization that it has failed us.  Our fountains of youth are making us sick.  The weight of this is too heavy for us to bear, so our culture is steeped in escapism in the form of drugs, alcohol, mind-numbing television and video games, constant noise and entertainment,  pornography, suicide. . .but escapism leads to even more death and misery.  We cannot escape the curse.

Is God up in heaven laughing a bitter laugh, determined to torture us for eternity because we didn’t obey Him in the garden?  No!

God created us to be loved by Him and to love Him in return.  The Father, Son and Holy Spirit–the three persons who together are the One True God–have had a perfect relationship of pure love  from eternity past and on into eternity future.  God does not need people in order for Him to be happy.  God doesn’t even need our worship in order to be fulfilled.  But He is so good that He created us so we could share in this loving fellowship and all the pleasures that go with it.  That is why you were created.

God loves you.  Jesus loves you.  God wired you to be loved by Him and to love Him.  Life is meaningless and empty if you don’t know God. That is the point of the curse:  If it weren’t for the curse we would never even think about God.  We would think life was just fine without Him.  Look around you.  Look inside your heart.  When I look around I see a lot of lonely, sad, miserable and depressed people trying to make it through life their way, without God.  It obviously isn’t working.  They try to make it look like they are happy, but are they really?  Or is there an emptiness, an ache; a longing for something more, different, better?????

God is what we all are longing for, and He really does have a fountain of life available to those who love Him.  Only those who hate Him will have to stay under the curse, forever separated from Him with the weight of their sin on them in hell.  If you humble yourself before God, and believe that Jesus is God and that He died for your sins, and that God the Father raised Him from the dead, you can be saved.  God’s unfailing mercy and kindness are freely given to those who cry to Him, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner!”

Psalm 36:5-10 says, “Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens, and Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.  Your righteousness is like the great mountains; Your judgments are like a great deep; O Lord, You preserve man and beast.  How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!  Therefore the children of men put their trust in the shadow of Your wings.  They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.  For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light.  Oh continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You, and Your righteousness to the upright in heart.”

Jesus is the only way to be saved–He said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life; no man comes to the Father except through Me.”  But He offers up an invitation to anyone who wants to come, “And let him who thirsts come.  And whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.”  (John 14:6 and Revelation 22:17b)

In eternity, when God sends the New Jerusalem down to earth, there will be “a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb (Jesus).  In the middle of the street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each yielding its fruit every month.  And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.  And there shall be no more curse, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him.  They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads.  And there shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light.  And they shall reign forever and ever” Revelation 22:1-5.

To know God in this life brings blessing, but even more is promised in the future to those who love God and who have been saved through Jesus death on the cross.  The futility of living under a curse will come to an end–it is only meant to drive us to God so we can receive His love.  But those who would rather live life without God, and do their own thing, will remain cursed for eternity in fire and darkness.  Which will you choose?  Jesus says again, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28  There is a way out from under the curse.  Come to Jesus.