Below is a comment I posted on a fellow mom’s blog:
My husband and I have four special blessings from God, ages 7, 5, 3 and almost two. Their age spans are 18 months, 28 months and then 17 months. I have also had three miscarriages in a year and a half, seven months apart–the last one happening last week.
I have, like you, been the recipient of both rude and encouraging comments concerning my family’s size. Complete strangers have insisted that I must be finished, especially since I have two boys and two girls, in that order. When I was newly pregnant with my fourth, a man came up to me and said that since I had both kinds, I didn’t need anymore–since there were not any other kinds to have. But then others have said what a lovely family I have, and I always say, “THANK YOU!” to those people.
Our journey of being willing to accept any and all blessings from God has been a gradual one. When we just had the two boys, my husband wanted to stop having children. But God changed his heart. He was going to have surgery after number 4, but God changed his heart again and now he wants 7 (or however many God gives us). We both want to adopt as well.
When our fourth was 7 months old, I became pregnant. My attitude was, “Why, God? I just want a break!” I am thankful that God worked in my heart and made me willing to receive whatever blessings He wanted to give me, because at three months I lost the baby. We were told to wait 6 months before “trying again”. At 7 months, we decided it was time to try, and we got pregnant right away, but lost the baby at 5 weeks. Another 7 months later we went forward in faith and tried again, got pregnant and lost the baby at 4 weeks.
This whole process has taught me that I cannot take my fertility for granted. God has revealed an attitude of pride in my heart regarding my health and my ability to be a mother. God is sovereign over my womb, and I am not.
I know that He is not holding my previous sinful attitude over my head, and I know I am not being punished–but I am seeking to learn the lessons God has for me in this season. I will NEVER complain about having another baby, AGAIN. My children have become so much more precious to me through this season, and I am so grateful for the absolute miracle of their births into our family. I cannot imagine life without any one of them.
My “break” is a burden I wish I didn’t have to bear–I long to hold a new baby in my arms. At the same time, I am seeking to be content and thankful for the blessings God has given me, and not covet the blessings of others.
I do not believe that all families are meant to have a prescribed number of children. God wants us to trust and obey Him, and as we seek Him He makes it clear what He wants us to do for OUR FAMILY. And I also know that being willing to have whomever the Lord gives does not necessarily mean that we will have a child every year for all our childbearing years. God is in control! We are to have the humble, trusting attitude God requires–we should even desire His blessings. But we cannot assume what God is going to do, or demand His blessings.
Children ARE a blessing. The more I have, the more I want. God has done that work, so at times I do not understand why I have to go through this season. But God has a purpose in it, and I praise Him for His wisdom.
In His Grace,