I wrote these after a two-month long desert temptation experience that God delivered me from, while at the same time freeing me from bondages to sins I didn’t even know were in my heart:
Thanks be to God who gives us the victory in Christ: and there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus:
Help me crucify my flesh with its passions and desires. The raging thoughts in my mind, they seek to devour me. Renew my mind. Transform my life. How I long for eternity—freedom from this body of death.
I see inside my heart—vile things I didn’t know were there. It scares me and I come running to You. Without Your grace, without Your mercy, without Your Spirit, I would surely walk out the evil things only waiting for an invitation to come out.
Thank You for forgiveness and the power to walk with You. I beg that You will preserve me blameless at Your coming. How I know that apart from You I would never make it. I sin, and I would sin more. I would destroy the work of God.
I need You. I am desperate. At Your feet, here I cry along with Mary, who washed Your feet with her tears.
You cast no stone of condemnation, yet say, “Go and sin no more.” I have wept and mourned, drawn near to You and confessed my sin. Please send the tormentor and accuser away! (And He did!)
The same day I wrote:
We talk of the sin of the world. We speak of music, tv, books, etc. We try to keep ourselves unspotted by the world, and so we should. But all we see “out there” resides already in our hearts. We do not become sinners because of the evil around us. There is evil in the world because we are sinful. I can isolate myself from all outside influences, and yet the war inside of me is fierce. It needs no help, and I do well to not feed it. Oh, who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord! Without His mercy, I am doomed.